


Ghost of a Feeling

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Challenge Response, Halloween, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-10-07
Updated: 2000-10-07
Packaged: 2018-11-11 01:37:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11138619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived atDue South Archive. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onDue South Archive collection profile.





	Ghost of a Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Ghost of a Feeling - by Karen Rossi  
 **Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio**  
 **Rating: PG-13  
**

* * *

**GHOST OF A FEELING**  
by Karen Rossi

"So, Frase. You sure? You sure you don't wanna go?" 

"Yes. Positive. Thank you kindly, Ray." 

"It sounds like it's gonna be a great party ..." 

"It's fine, Ray. Really. In any event, I do have to be at the Consulate early tomorrow. Staying up late into the early hours of the morning will only make me less than able for the Commerce Luncheon." 

"So the Ice Queen has you catering now. Folding napkins, carving the ice moose, all that bullsh ..." 

"Now, Ray. My role is more than that. There's security, the speeches ..." 

"Whatever, Frase. Sounds like it's gonna be a *most excellent* party," Ray said as he pulled the GTO in front of the Consulate. 

"Thank you kindly, Ray. And you have a wonderful time at the precinct's Halloween Party tonight." 

"Will do, " Ray said as Fraser exited the car. "Hey, Frazoor." 

The Canadian looked through the car window at his friend. "Yes, Ray?" 

"Remember ... it's fork on the left, knife and spoon on the right," Ray laughed as the GTO pulled away from the curb. 

~~~~~~ 

It was a small dinner of a fried pork chop and salad that he and Diefenbaker shared that evening. Dishes washed and dried, he changed into dungarees and a flannel shirt. 

In deference to the holiday, he placed a small papier-mache ghost inside his office window. Inspector Thatcher disapproved of any Halloween decoration for the Consulate; he'd take the ghost down before her arrival in the morning. A small bowl of wrapped paper candies and apples sat by the door for any children who would knock for treats. 

As evening fell, he smiled as costumed children filled the streets as witches, goblins, animals, and cartoon characters. Ushered door-to-door by parents, none rang the Consulate bell. Despite keeping the outside lighting on -- something Ray Vecchio told him was necessary -- indicating that he was 'game', no one knocked. 

*Perhaps it's the austerity of the building,* Fraser wondered as he watched the children flock to lighted and *decorated* houses. Puzzled, he wished Ray Vecchio were here. Ray would explain it to him. He had obviously missed some rather important nuance to the Halloween tradition. 

The witches and ghosts that ran in the streets got less and less, and Fraser realized that the evening had ended, the children were home. Turning the outside lights off, he stood in the darkness, and pressed his palms to eyes, trying to stop his tears. His heart ached from more than just his failed Halloween celebration. 

Ray. 

His beloved Ray. How he missed him. 

He whispered in the dark. "Ray, I love you. I miss you. Please come back to me. You are my love, my life. Please come back." 

He ran to his room and got his leather jacket. There was some place he needed to be. 

~~~~~~ 

Stepping into the rented garage that cost him $100.00 month, he fumbled in the darkness for the string that would turn the light on. Electricity coursed through the wire and into the bare bulb, lighting the interior. 

His lover's Riv glowed softly in the light. 

A tinny radio, broken and left by a previous garage owner, sat on a shelf. It was connected to the same switch that powered the light; when the light was on, so was radio. The on and off switches were missing as was the volume button. 

It took Fraser four months and $8,000.00 to find a replacement car. Originally maroon, he had it repainted hunter green and towed here. He had the interior reupholstered to match the car's exterior color, as was Ray's first and second Riv. As necessary, he replaced the missing parts bit by bit. The car was waxed to a flawless shine, as was the chrome. 

When Ray came home, he hoped he would accept this Riv. And he hoped he would accept him back and want him back. And on nights like tonight, when he was especially lonely, he would come to the garage and look at the Riv. And remember. 

A song played on the radio. 

... Stay ... with me ... my love I hope you'll always be ... right here by my side ... whenever I need you ... oh my love ... In you arms ... I feel so safe and so secure ... 

He remembered Ray's arms around him, holding him tight and safe, warming him, and melting the cold that had encased his heart. He remembered his name floating softly on Ray's breath as he called him 'Benny' -- the only person in the history of his life to do so. He remembered the magnificent green eyes, full of tenderness and love. He remembered the broad shoulders and the ample strength that took care of so many, since his lover was aged twelve. He remembered the wonderful man that was his lover. 

Pressing his back against the garage wall, he cried. 


End file.
